Friday, January 22, 2010

Finally..

Finally the long awaited winter break has dawned upon us. It feels strange to sit at my table with a loss for what to do. Luckily in a few days, I'm out of this place. Just yesterday, we sat for one of the most overrated finals in this program. Anatomy. The amount of preparation put into the test was both mentally and physically taxing. Mcq was just well mcq *winks. But the oral exam is where you earn your worth.

Upon entering the exam hall, you could literally cut the tension in the air in half with a sharp knife. Left and right, worried faces littered my view. Underneath a nonchalant exterior, my articulatio genus were almost threatening to give way. In the center of the hall lay two bodies, two mangled bodies (I must add) and arranged in a semicircle were the so called preparat or internal organs. I took my questions from the students on duty and without sneaking a peek at them yet, made my way to a seat
and prepared for the worse.

Looking to right, I was greeted by the wide but forced smile of one of my hostel roommates. Deep creases had formed on his forehead and I swore a whole battalion of soldiers could find refuge from enemy shelling within those trenches. Opening my question paper, I was greeted by the first question.

"Explain the relationship between the Duodenum and the Peritoneum."

I fought back a smile as a story of forbidden love formed in my head. I could almost picture the plot. A secret love story between a boy named D and a beautiful girl named P. How they were separated by some tragic event but eventually meet just to find themselves engaged to other people. Then they both murder their fiancées but their diabolical doings get discovered by the authorities. Running hand in hand through a hail of bullets, they attempt to dodge their pursuers and just as they were about to make it, D is shot in the back and falls to the ground. P turns behind and screams "Nooo..." and is shot repeatedly too. She falls in slow motion on top of him. "Aha!..retroperitoneal". I scribbled the answer as fast as I can and stifled a laugh.

Next question. "What organs adjoin superior part of the duodenum from above and behind"

This was a rather easy question and wasting no time, I answered it and took a look at the theoretical questions.

"Describe the digestive cavity, sinuses, grooves, flexures, major anatomical formations"

The smile induced by the previous question died off like a green plant in the hot furnace of the Sahara desert. For a moment my mind was blank as I attempted to understand the question. Then it hit me and I began to answer the question hoping the little fragments of memories would not leave me.

Finally, it was time to answer the last question.

"Middle ear. Structure. Anatomy. Blood supply & Innervation"

I heaved a great sigh of relief. I had almost left this part out from studying and at that moment I was so glad I had not. I quickly listed down the membranous parts and the bony parts of the ear even though they were part of the internal ear but heck, I wanted my answer sheet to look full. I also wrote down the walls of the tympanic cavity and the components of the auditory ossicles. Blood supply and innervation? I was stumped for a moment and then it all came back to me and I wrote down the answer. "Alright God, I've done my part. Now give me the easiest teacher and I promise not to do drugs for the rest of my life."

"Dzhulliiaan Thon Vei Eee" I heard my name being called out by one of the easier teachers of the department. I gave an imaginary high five to the Big loving Man upstairs and made my way down to the stage.

" Where your glurves and peek one payper" I hastily put on my gloves, took out my forceps and proceeded to select a list for my pointing examination. I mustered what I felt was the most charming smile I could effect under the circumstances and nodded my head. "I'm ready" We then headed to the centre of the hall where the preparat lay.

"Furst, lateral condyle of femur"

Heh..Jesus loves me this I know. I pointed it out immediately and smiled. Confidence was at an all time high.

"Show mi plis Right Colic Flexure"

Is that the best you've got? I walked over to a body with the abdominal cavity exposed and yanked out the large intestine and pointed it out. Anat finals is awesome!

"Musculus Zygomaticus"

Whoops, my mind went blank. Where the hell is that? I hesitated and pointed to the chest region. Bad move, a look of disapproval descended as rapidly as a flock of angry bees upon my examiners face. "Oi oi..musculus zygomaticus" Recovering from my stupid mistake, I chuckled and pointed out the muscle on the face. Alright God I get it, if I play the fool, You're gonna leave me alone.

Last pointing. "Ulnar veins"

I picked up the cadavers arm and started probing around in the ulnar region. The texture was just weird and it kinda reminded me of the type of dish your mom would prepare once in a while and that you would refuse to eat but eventually hold your breath and swallow because it's "expensive and good for your body!". After proceeding to mangle the hand of the cadaver, I pulled out two vein looking objects and gestured to the teacher. She nodded and it was finally time for oral answers.

Sitting down at the table, I was prepared to unleash a torrent of crap upon her unsuspecting words. All I needed was the bark of the starting gun.

"Answer please the first question"

Kicking my creative juices into high gear, I repeated what I had written on the paper and spiced it up with random information that came into my head as torrents of nonsense poured from my lips. I stopped to catch a breath. "Kontinew!" that was her swift reply. For a moment D's eyes popped into my mind, his life slowly slipping away from those orbs. Pinching myself, I proceeded to answer in this fashion for the remaining 4 questions.

By the point I reached the 3rd question, I gradually had the feeling that nobody was listening to me at all. She jsut sat there with her gaze to the floor and I was pretty convinced she was buying it all. I therefore decided to briefly rush through the third question. Bad move. "Vait, tell mi about the greter omentoom" The previous night's revision was fresh upon me on that particular topic and I then explained that anatomical structure briefly. As soon as that was done, I knew I kinda had managed to pull this off.

"That's all. Please wait outside the hall for your credit book" The most beautiful string of unaccented english words left her oral cavity and caused my auditory ossicles to vibrate in perfect and magnificient unison. "Alright thanks" I then smiled and walked outside the lecture hall not before smirking at the rest of the students waiting for their turn. That was the end of anatomy finals for me but not the end of my worries just yet. A countless number of prayers were made later and more deals were struck with the Man upstairs for a reason that does not even involve my ownself. And sure enough He delivered again. Heh. All in all, good! Bye bye nelly! I wish you well in the torture of other students:)

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Hmm..

You know you're in too deep when you start to pray for someone's elses result more than your own one. Finally a long deserved break. Fluff up the pillows and ruffle up the sheets coz I'm going in. Commando style. Just kidding bout that. Heh

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Battle

Off to battle..

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Pustule..

Situational Task Q173 pg.31

It is known to be dangerous to squeeze out a pustule on the face because it can lead to a severe complication, i.e. an infection of the sinuses of dura mater of the brain.

This will cause impaired judgement and typing ghfur shfm sldfkgdoh od;sd;fgkljammmasdf

Joel..

Wow, my brother has really grown up into a fine handsome young man. I used to remember you as this boy that was always exasperated with what I did. Everytime I said something stupid, there you would be with this stupid grin and a look in your eyes that said "Wow, how dumb can my brother be." Well it has been a while since I've last seen this look and I'm looking forward to seeing it alot more in June when I get back. I also remember how when we were very little you used to scream and shout whenever I stepped near a drain for fear that I would fall inside. Funny thing is that I used to do it often on purpose just to see that reaction. It's so funny how our characters are vastly different in some areas. Now you're off to do your A levels and it's good that you seem so excited about it. Maths has always been your forte, and yes I lied. I dint get 90 plus during form 4 or 5. What's maths anyway? I can faintly recall it involves numbers or some sort. Heh. Alright Joel, go and rock Taylor's. Break some hearts. Remember we have awesome genes and most importantly we have Jesus in us. We shall hit the gym together once more when I get back and I do warn you you better bench more than you did last summer but not as much as me though heh. You're always in my prayers and I know I rock your world=)

Monday, January 18, 2010

Fish..

It must really suck to be one those fishes down there. 6 of them swimming around in endless circles in the confines of their small prison. Wonder about the drama they go through every day in their lives. Maybe someone should make a show about them. Oh wait, Friends has 6 characters! Now we know where they got their inspiration. Then why have we not heard off multi million dollar lawsuits launched by Google just yet? There can only be one answer: a billion dollar out-of-court settlement. Oh these people are just geniuses.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Shot

People who need noise to study and do so at the expense of other should be tied up, blindfolded and executed by a firing squad. Let them beg for mercy first. A nice swift kick in the ribs and then the coup de grâce. The stress and the noise is driving me nuts.

Sitcom..

Life should be just like a sitcom. Scripted, entertaining and full of twists and turns. How would it feel to have your every line written out and action predetermined all the time? Everything you say would either be funny or sweet. Never annoying or totally unnecessary. Everything you do would be funny as well and if you were an actor in a romantic sitcom, tear jerking and "aww.." inducing. Gee..wouldnt it be nice to follow a script knowing everything is gonna play out just fine. But then again, life would only be 20 minutes long every week so yeah, I guess it's good life's not like a sitcom after all.

Lol..

Q: Eh, it's so obvious that you like her!

A: NO! I dont like her. I just miss her when she's not around, think of her all the time, find every small reason to meet her and dream of us holding hands as we stroll through a park.

Whoops..epic fail.

Me: Hey, do you know why girls are generally shorter than guys?
X: No, why?
Me: Ah thats because girls secrete pheromones through the top of their head. So when guys stand close to them, they get the full impact. Cool huh?
X: Julian!! Whatever they say in "Friends" does not stand as being scientifically verified ok!
Me: *sheepish grin

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Bad grammar

You know what I have an issue with? People with bad grammar. Sometimes it's almost sacrilegious not to correct them. But whats equally as bad are people who correct other people's grammar. New Year resolution one out of many: stop correcting people's grammar. Immediately leave the premises, head towards nearest toilet, look in mirror and sputter " 'A' is only used when the noun following does not start with a,e,i,o,u." , wipe sweat off forehead, look in the mirror, wink and head back and continue conversation as usual.

Why?

Some say the night brings with it clarity and revelation about the things you are about to decide on. How's that cynical viewpoint you're so fond off gonna save you now?

Trial

We'll see how this goes. Writing always has been therapeutic and not that Im in need of healing or what not now. Has always felt good to write and lets see where this leads.